Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
