We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Michael Bay diarrhea
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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