Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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