3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize