thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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