I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
