ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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