I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They have beer where we have blood.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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