i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
false alarm. still invincible.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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