new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
