Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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