Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
