i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
