If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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