I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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