So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
