hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
