I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
