we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
