weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
