Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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