oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
nutella sex= disaster
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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