The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
