I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
