wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
