i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
