Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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