I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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