I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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