dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im holly from the hills drunk
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
