So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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