don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm passing your future prison.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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