just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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