So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize