if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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