We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize