just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize