babies were throwing up all over the place
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
