What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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