She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize