We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
