If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
