Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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