I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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