your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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