I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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