so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
