dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
