You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
