Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
