Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
