I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize