On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
