at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
