she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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