just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
