I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
