Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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